


Why am I here?

by Clexas100



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Assassin Clarke, Azgeda Clarke Griffin, Endgame Clarke Griffin/Lexa, F/F, F/M, Grounder Clarke Griffin, Not Beta Read, Ontari and Clarke become friends, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Clarke, Protective Lexa, Protective Roan, Roan is like a brother, Torture Mentioned, Warrior clarke, not slow burnish
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-06-18 21:38:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15495207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clexas100/pseuds/Clexas100
Summary: Clarke is send alone to earth but lands in Azgeda.I suck at summaries. Try it and see for yourself!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys,
> 
> I just had this idea in my head and wanted to try it.
> 
> I don´t won the 100.  
> All mistakes are mine.  
> English is not my native language.
> 
> Kudos and Comments are loved...ENJOY!

Why am I here?

When I woke up I could hear people talk but I couldn´t understand what they´re saying because it sounded like gibberish to me. I was confused because we only spoke one language on the Ark, English. It was really cold, but I still opened my eyes slowly and was blinded by the sun. The sun, why could I see the sun, I was trying to figure out why I was here, on earth. Everything around me was white, if I remember correctly it´s snow. 

When I got up and turned around I could see two scary looking man standing next to me. I didn´t even knew that people lived down here, interesting. When they saw me getting up they talked to me but I couldn´t understand a word. I was to scared to say something and was frozen in place when one of the grounders knocked me out again with his sword.

The next time I woke up I was in a giant room and laid on the floor. Before I could do something someone lifted me up so I could stand. When I looked around I could see an even scarier women sitting in a throne. She had cold blue eyes and scars like a half moon on her faces. While I looked at her wary she examined my body with her eyes. When she finished she smirk and said something in that strange language to me.

“With all due respect I don´t understand what you´re saying” I said with confidence. Her smirk widened when I finished “I asked you, who you´re and why you fell from the sky?” she replied and I nodded.   
“Right I´m Clarke Eliza Griffin” I cringed when I introduced myself with my whole name “and for your second question you majesty I don´t know why I´m on earth my people probably sacrificed me to see if the earth is survivable” I continued. I added the majesty because why else would she sit on a throne and I didn´t want to be disrespectful.

“I see you´re a smart one Clarke kom Skai. Why did your people think you´re expandable? And does it mean you have no one you know here?” She continued to ask me, I thought some of her questions were strange but I didn´t want to fall on her bad side so I answered “They thought I knew something they didn´t want me to so I was locked up so I couldn´t tell anyone, that´s probably why they send me to the ground too. And I thought nobody lives on the ground.”

“Great! I´m queen Nia kom Azgeda and I´m gonna use you. To be fair I´ll tell you about what will happen in your near future” I widened my eyes because I could see in her eyes it was nothing good. “First I´m gonna break you, I´ll torture you until you can take it silently after that one of my most trusted warriors will train you to become a warrior and finally after that my nightblood will train you to become an assassin. Oh and every time you cry out in pain while you train will be punished, every time you cry will be punished, every time you refuse no matter what you will be punished” I couldn´t believe what I just heard. 

Guards grabbed my arms and tried to get me out of the room but I fought back. “You can´t do that” I screamed at Nia as I kicked a guards knee. Sadly he didn´t move a bit, he didn´t even made a sound. “A fiercy and smart one that´s rare bring her in the dungeons” She said and I was pulled out of the room. 

The guards dragged me through many floors until we came into a room with cells. They opened a cell door and threw me on the floor in there. When I got up on my feet they had already closed and locked the door. “Let me out!” I tried a last time but nothing happened so I looked around to see how I would live for awhile. There was a mattress and thin blanket and last but not least a bucket. I´m pretty sure that´s supposed to be the toilet.

 

That´s how my year in hell began. It took Nia a month and a half until I wouldn´t make any noises while she tortured me, she said she was surprised I managed it so fast. I was stabbed, burned, whipped and some other things I don´t wanna think about. Before I got back to my cell she would cauterize every wound with a hot knife. I had never felt so much pain before but I didn´t broke I always thought of my dad and how he wouldn´t want me to give up, so I fought.

When I could take the torture in silence a warrior named Roan started to train me. He actually wasn´t so bad, he was really nice to me. He teached me everything he knew, with so much patience. 

When the Queen asked if I made any noises he would tell her I didn´t even if I did. I mean I got tortured anyway but he still earned my trust. We spend the whole day together so after a few weeks we became good friends. He even teached me their language so I could understand what people said. One day he told me Nia didn´t even know that he teached me trigedasleng and that I should use it to my advantage. I was glad I had someone on my side.

When we finished training we would joke around, he was the only one who could get a smile out of me he even gave me the nickname skaiprisa, he was the brother I never had. We even teased each other sometimes. Sadly I learned to fast from him so I could beat him after four months of training. After that I barely saw him anymore because I would be trained by Ontari now.

Ontari was different she was more impatient and her methods to teach weren´t the best. She always looked so cold, I´m not sure I ever saw her smile but I could see the pain in her eyes. It was true that people talk through their eyes and I was really good in reading people. One day when I hit her while we trained she winced in pain. I got over to her and asked shyly if I could help her. First she tried to convince me that she was fine and didn´t need help but I had a goal so I threatened her to tell the Queen that she made a noise. (Not that I would ever do that)

Her eyes widened and she gave in. She pulled her shirt up and I could see she had as much scars than I, if even not more. If I wouldn´t look the same I would´ve probably gasp. There was one new scar which wasn´t really closed. Luckily a few meters away was a fire place so I heated my knife. When I got back to her I cleaned the wound and I warned her before I cauterize it as gently as possible. As soon as I could I pulled the knife away. I waited a few minutes before I put a healing salve on the wound, I made myself when I still trained with Roan.

My mom was a doctor so I had some training and knew what was needed for a healing salve and thanks to Roan I got the things I needed. 

After that Ontari was friendlier around me and showed more patience. We both had our fun while training, sure she had to be serious sometimes but that didn´t stop her from teasing me or talking to me after training. She opened up to me and when we talked or would hang out together Roan would join us sometimes. Six and a half months later I finished my training as an assassin and I finally had my chance to escape Nia.

While Roan, Ontari and I hang out we made a plan how Tari, Roan and I could escape. Roan was Nia´s son and even he wanted to escape from her. Everything was prepared so five days before my training was finished we would escape in the dark of the night.   
When we left the palace we hurried with silent steps to our prepared horses and took off.

It took us three weeks until we reached Polis where the commander would be. On our journey we never got caught by guards the Queen may have sent. When we reached the outline of the gates the guards glared at us. “What do you want Azgeda scum?” One of them ask. “I prince Roan of Azgeda ask Heda for a meeting without the ambassadors” Roan spoke up and the guards let us through while one of them run a head to inform the commander.

When we walked through the city I was amazed by all the colors and smells. People looked happy here. A head of us was a giant tower probably from before the war that destroyed the world. We got inside and walked into a box which brought us up. When the box stopped we got out and stood before big doors. When they opened I saw the commander sitting on her throne and lost myself in her eyes while we got in.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow guys thank you for the great response!  
> It made me write faster on the second chapter.
> 
> Trigger Warning Clarke will have a flashback, so there is a small discription what happened to her. It´s not to bad but I place this warning just in case! If you see this <<<<< you reached that part and if you this >>>>> it ended so you can skip it if you want.
> 
> Anyway I don´t wanna talk to much.
> 
> I don´t own the 100.  
> All mistakes are my own.  
> And english isn´t my native language.
> 
> Kudos and Comments are loved...ENJOY!

The door to the throne room opened and I saw a flash of green eyes from the beautiful girl that was sitting on the throne, hidden under the facade of the commander. I don´t know how I managed it but I walked inside with the others without falling or stumbling.

 

Her green eyes were watching me too for a moment until she looked at Roan and Tari. I was grateful that Roan again began to speak “Thank you Commander for making time for us!” he said respectfully while bowing his head as we did the same. “Prince Roan kom Azgeda, Cold Eyes (Ontari´s assassin name) and unknown, what do I owe the pleasure?” the commander answered with a smile that didn´t reach her eyes.

 

“With all due respect commander we´re asking for your protection from the Ice Queen” Roan continued and the commander raised her eyebrows in surprise but her facade was fast back in place “why do you need my protection?” she retorted.

That´s were I spoke up “as you can see we all came from Azgeda but we would say we escaped hell. Ontari or Cold Eyes as you call her is a nightblood and was trained to be an assassin, through torture on a daily day bases. Roan for his part wants to be free from her grip. She made him do unspeakable thinks. And as for me I´m not even Azgeda”.

 

The commander showed once again a surprised face “if it´s true that Ontari is a nightblood why wasn´t she brought to Polis when they found out? And what do you mean by you aren´t Azgeda?” she asked completely calm and patient.

 

That´s the part were Tari started talking “I´m an nightblood and wasn´t brought to Polis because of Nia. She wanted her own nightblood so once you would fall she could take over the Coalition through me. She tortured me for years to get me fall in line but she was never ai kwin. As for Clarke a little over a year ago a metal box fell out of the skai, in Azgeda land. A man loyal to Nia brought her to the palace. Let´s just say she has been there since” as she finished she looked my way to make sure I´m okay.

Sometimes I have the problem that if we talk about the year I get PTSD problems.

 

“Why should I believe you? After all it could be a plan of Nia to infiltrate Polis” the commander asked warily her eyes meeting mine. We gazed at each other and never broke the eye contact while Roan spoke “I understand your way of thinking but all we told you was true. I myself saw the box fall out of the sky and we´re pleading you to let us stay. I prince Roan kom Azgeda swear loyalty to the commander” he said while getting on a knee bowing his head.

 

“I Ontari kom Azgeda swear loyalty to the commader of the twelve clans” Tari continued and got on her knee as well while bowing her head. So now it was my turn, I could see in her eyes that she was surprise by the show of respect, “I Clarke kom Skaikru swear fealty to you and the commander of the twelve clans” I said while getting down on my knee bowing my head.

 

When the commander composed herself again “You can stand up again” she ordered and we did as she said “I accept your ask for protection. All three of you will be placed on the same floor in the tower. You all will be guarded when you walk around until I trust you. As for Ontari since she is a nightblood we will see how we can include her in the sessions the other nightbloods have, but until you earned my trust you´ll have a guard with you when you´re with them. As for Roan I´ll take you as a 'political prisoner'. Only the people in this room will know you run away everyone else will think you´re my prisoner because Nia had a nightblood hidden. And last but not least Clarke kom Skaikru, we´ll be meeting later today so you can tell me about Skaikru and your skills so we can find something fitting for you” she ended her speech and we all nodded and bowed our head again.

“Thank you Heda we´re grateful for your kindn-” Roan began to thank the commander when the doors burst open and banging close again.

 

 

**< <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<**

In that moment I was back in Azgeda, trying to fight against the guards who beat me black and blue as part of the torture and the whipping after. I couldn´t escape, all I could do is to give up. Everything became to much for me, all the pain and torture. Nia stood before me smirking seeing how she had broken me. But then I saw my dad behind her “Clarke you need to fight come back. You need to get back and breath normal” he said but in the mid sentence his face became Roans.

**> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>**

 

 

He looked worried at me “Skaiprisa I need you to match my heart beat okay?” he asked me while pulling my hand on his chest and I nodded. I looked him in the eyes and tried to match my breath with his heart beat and slowly my breathing got normal again. What I didn´t mentioned yet is that I can get triggered through extreme loud noises like a door banging close.

 

“See I knew you could do it” He said while I flung into his safe arms hiding from my nightmares and flashbacks. “You know if you wanted to be in his arms you could´ve just asked” Tari teased me knowing humor would distract me. While the whole encounter we forgot where we were and who was with us.

 

When I pulled back from the embrace I whipped my tears away “mochof” I thanked them both before turning once back to the commander who looked shocked. But also amazed by the work of Roan and Tari.

 

What I just registered is the man standing slightly behind the commander. He had a white robe and tattoos on his head and glared at us. I don´t know who he´s and what he said but I´m pretty sure it´s nothing positive.

 

“What happened?” the commander asked and I could see the confusion in her eyes. Tari answered for me and I´ve never been more grateful “it´s not my story to tell but let´s just say Clarke hadn´t the easiest time in Azgeda and is still suffering somehow”.

 

Before the man could say anything the commander had her hand already up silencing him immediately. When she looked my way I could see her studying me and something different what looked like worry. “I´ll respect you not telling me what happened and won´t command you to tell me. It´s something personal and maybe you´ll tell me about it with the time. Anyway now everything is settled my guards will show you the way to your quarters. You all will be on the same floor as I as a trust bonus I hope you won´t disappoint me, you all have your own room. As for the Skaiprisa we´ll meet up when dinner is served and you can tell me about Skaikru while we eat” She informed us all and we all were surprised to hear that we would be on the same floor as her. I just kind of hoped that I would bump in to her more often and was exited for our 'date'. I´m pretty sure she didn´t mean it that way but a girl can have dreams right?.

 

We bowed our heads a last time and made our way to our own quarters to lay down. The exhaustion from our journey caught up with us and we all fell asleep as soon we hit the mattress.

 

A few hours later I was woken by someone sneaking in my room. I slowly grabbed one of my knife´s. When the intruder was almost next to me I turned around fast and got up to press the blade against their throat. “Easy there tiger it´s just me” Roan said and I slumped back in to my bed “idiot! What are you doing here?” “It´s almost time for dinner and I wanted to make sure you´re okay” “oh okay, yeah I´m fine I think. How long until dinner is served?” “you have five minutes, good luck” he said with a chuckle before he left and I got up as fast as I could sprinting in the bathroom to wash myself and to make me presentable.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think?
> 
>  
> 
> And by the way you also can find me on Instagram if you wanna ask me something: @clexa100


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,
> 
> I have a new chapter ready again, I hope you like it!
> 
> I don´t own the 100.  
> All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Kudos and Comments are loved...ENJOY!

I was in luck, because the quarters of the commander were on the opposite side of Roan´s room and his quarters were next to mine. I knocked softly on the door and didn´t wait for an answer. When I got inside I couldn´t see the commander at first, but after a few minutes she came out of the bathroom. She was beautiful, her wavy hair laid on her right shoulder and the war paint wasn´t there anymore. She looked younger maybe a year older than myself.

“Commander” I greeted her with a slight bow of my head “you can call me Lexa when we´re alone, Clarke” she said with a smile and I nodded. “Let´s eat” she continued while pulling a chair out for me. She sat down on the other side and we began to eat. We ate in comfortable silence and sometimes I would look at her. Before she could caught me I looked down again.

After we finished she leaned back in her chair. “Can you tell me something about your original clan?” Lexa asked in a soft ton “Yeah sure but it´ll be a lot to take in” she nodded so I continued “I was born on a space station called the Ark. I was the daughter of the head engineer and head doctor. The Ark was supposed to be a home for over two hundred years, but my dad their head engineer found a problem with the oxygen system which could not be repaired. He told our council about what he discovered but they didn´t listened to him. So my dad decided to tell people what´s going on, through a video to warn them. He told me about the problem too and I agreed with him, sadly my mom didn´t. She told the chancellor about what my dad was gonna do. She thought she could trust him because they´re friends for years, but she thought wrong. Our chancellor Jaha decided it would be a good idea to float my dad and imprison me without contact to anyone, so I couldn´t tell people about the problem. I was in isolation for one and a half of a year before I woke up on earth alone,in Azgeda. They thought I would be expendable and sent me to the ground to see if it´s survivable. So here I´m after a year in Azgeda hoping that my people won´t follow me to the ground.” 

At some point through my story, tears started to fall down my cheeks, against my will. When I finished the story Lexa nodded and stood up making her way towards me. She took my hands and pulled me up in a tight hug. I had never thought the commander would feel so good, so I let myself fall in the embrace. 

“I´m sorry to hear about the cruelty of your people Clarke” she whispered in my neck not pulling away. I don´t know how or why but in her arms I felt safe, for the first time in over a year I felt really save. I was thankful for Roans hugs but they´re nothing compared to Lexas. Even thought she is the commander I could picture a future with her by my side. I felt like something would pull me closer to her as if the universe wanted us to comfort each other. The scary thing is I knew her for less than a day but still felt like I knew her for weeks, I mean she didn´t even tell me something about herself.

When she pulled back she didn´t let me go, instead she put her hands gently on my cheeks so I would look at her. “Clarke I know from the reaction earlier it won´t be easy but can you tell me about your time in Azgeda?” she asked softly giving me the chance to refuse. 

I nodded and took a deep breath and told her everything that had happened. I even told her about the torture and that I still have problems with it at night or when something triggers it. I don´t know why I told her about literally everything but I felt like I could trust her. She whipped my tears gently away when they´re rolling down. When I finished telling her the story, I flung back in to her arms hiding in her neck. 

I stayed there for what felt like an hour but I couldn´t care less. I felt safe and her smell was calming. I placed a light kiss there and pulled back from the embrace. When I kissed her neck I could hear a gasp from her. 

I distanced myself a bit “thank you Clarke for telling me all of that! I know it had to be hard for you but you´re safe now, I´ll protect you myself to keep you safe” “Thank you Lexa, really thank you! I don´t even know why you´re so nice to me” “Maybe I´ll tell you some day but for now you should go and get rest” Lexa told me before I made my way to the door. “Goodnight Heda!” I said before I left and walked in to my room, cleaned myself up and fell asleep as soon as I was in my new bed.

When I woke up again, my body was wet. My eyes were widened and my breathing faster as normal. I had a nightmare again, a bad one this time. When I have bad nightmares I join Roan in his bed because I feel safe in his arms. 

I got up and out of my room in only a night gown. I walked along the floor and went in without a knock and sleepy eyes. I got closer to the bed and got in snuggling to the body laying there. What I didn´t notice in that moment is that the body was much smaller than Roans. And if I had noticed I couldn´t care less because the person put his or her arms around me to pull me closer and to secure me in his or her arms. I felt safe enough to fall asleep again. 

When I woke up I felt warm and safe. I laid half a top on someone much smaller than Roan. I thought about to lift my head and see who it is but I was much to cozy and comfortable. Instead I snuggled further in the neck of this person, I had some ideas who it´s but I didn´t care. All I heard when I snuggled further in the neck was a soft chuckle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,
> 
> here´s a new chapter. I´m not happy with it but can´t find a way to make it better.  
> I know it´s short again but I wanted to give you all some fluff and just fluff. The next few chapters will be longer again!
> 
> I don´t own the 100.  
> All mistakes are my own!  
> English is not my native language.
> 
> Kudos and Comments are loved...ENJOY!

I didn´t want to lift my head but I couldn´t resist to see her, so I lifted my head and looked in these beautiful green eyes. All I could do was smile “Hi”.

“Hey” Lexa answered “not that I´m complaining but why are you in my bed and on top of me?” and continued which caused me to blush and hide my face again. She lifted my head again with two fingers to see the vulnerability in my eyes, “I had a bad nightmare yesterday, when I have those I join most of the time Roan because I feel safe in his arms. But I think in my daze I walked in the wrong room and laid down in your arms instead of his” I told her “I-I´m sorry if I overstepped something, I didn´t mean to make you uncomfortable” I continued trying to get up.

To my surprise Lexa tightened her arms around me so I couldn´t leave. “Why didn´t you wake up again I mean my arms are not Roan´s?” She asked me and I flushed “it could be possible that I feel even safer in your arms” I answered shyly. Lexa blushed at my answer and I never thought I could make the commander blush.

Lexa looked deep in my eyes as if she would search for something and found it. Because she grabbed my face gently with both her hands and started to lean slowly in. Our noses brushed but she stopped a moment to give me the chance to pull away but as crazy as it sounds I didn´t want to. After a few seconds she closed the distance until her lips were on mine, the kiss was soft and gentle. I just got my first kiss with no one other than the commander herself.

She pulled away after the first kiss but I pulled her fast in for another one. This one was deeper and was the beginning of a heated make-out session. Tongues were introduced and mouths were explored by each other. Neither of us wanted to pull away but we had to get up eventually. She had her duty´s and I had to meet up with Roan and Tari to talk about my meeting with the commander and to train. 

I was the first one to pull away. We both needed a minute to regular our breathing again. We both had also a big smile on our face “what does this mean?” I broke the silence. “I don´t know. All I know is it feels right and that I feel safe with you as well. I feel like something is pulling me towards you and I don´t want to fight it” Lexa confessed and my smile only grew wider “I feel the same way, so what are we?” I agreed with her confession, but couldn´t help myself to ask that question.

“I would like to discover what we´re to each other together, all I can say is that we should keep it to ourselves for quite some time not for my shake but yours. It can be dangerous to be close to the commander, I promise you I´ll do everything in my power to keep you safe!” Lexa told and promised me. “I want to discover the connection between us too and I agree that we should keep this to ourselves” I agreed with you and giving you another kiss before I got up.

“As much I would want to stay all day in your arms, you have your duty´s and I have to meet up with Roan and Ontari, in order to keep this to ourselves I have to leave your room before everyone else wakes up” I suggested and you got out of bed too and walked me to the door. Before I could reach the handle you pushed me gently against the door and kissed me one last time. Maybe a few more kisses than one because neither of us wanted to let go and we´re both lost in each other. I was again the stronger one between us and pushed you lightly away “I´ll see you later” “yeah I see you later” Lexa added with a smirk and I got out of her room to walk back in mine.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,
> 
> sorry I know it took sometime but I´m back.  
> I have no excuse besides that I wrote on my other story.
> 
> I´ll update from now on every saturday.
> 
> I don´t own the 100.  
> All mistakes are mine.  
> English is not my native language.
> 
> Kudos and Comments are loved... ENJOY!

I changed into leggings and a sport bra for our training, I added two swords on my back and over a dozen knife´s strapped around my body. When I learned one thing on earth than that you should never walk around without a weapon. (expect when I´m with Lexa alone) I heard someone knocking on my door and went to open the door. 

Roan and Ontari stood behind it, with their training gear and their choice of weapons. “Good morning you two” I said with a smile “what´s gotten in you? you´re smiling, not that I´m complaining but you don´t do it much” Tari asked surprised and confused at the same time. “Don´t know I just woke up like that, maybe it´s because we´re finally away from Nia” I responded with a shrug of my shoulders. 

“Should we talk about your meeting with the commander?” Roan asked me “yeah but let´s get some training done while we talk” I suggested, because even if we don´t fight anymore for Nia, I don´t wanna lose my skills I had to learned so hard. Both nodded and I left my room.

Our guards were right behind us, I could hear them gasp when they saw Tari and my body full of scars, when we headed to the elevator. We arrive at the bottom of the tower and made our way towards the training pits. The guards stayed at the entrance while we´re warming up.

“what do we wanna train?” I asked, Tari began to smirk “two against one?” she suggested and Roan and I both nodded. This time I was the one who fought against both because they´re it the last time. We stood in triangle, I took my fighting stance and waited for them to attack. 

When they eventually started, our dance began, we knew how the other one fights and knew what they´ll do, so nobody really had the upper hand. Even with them both against me it´s still equal, I´ve learned much from them but changed a few things for my liking. “So how did the meeting with the commander go?” Roan asked gently while he attacked me “It´s good, better than I expected” I told him and blocked his blow. “What did you tell her?” Ontari continued “literally everything if I´m honest” I said and they both stopped attacking me. 

“Why did you tell her everything?” “how are you feeling?” they asked in the same moment “I feel relieved and better” I answered Roan´s question and continued with Ontari´s “I´m not sure why, I feel like I can trust her and just opened up to her” they both nodded and accepted my decision. “If you trust her we trust her, we know you´re good at reading people and if you think like that we won´t object” Ontari said and got back into the fighting stance. I nodded thankfully at them and got ready myself.

We continued fighting and change sometimes what we did. A crowd settled around the training pit and watched us train together. I could hear them gasp or saw them look shocked when they saw the many scars we had, it´s the same with the guards. Some looked scared at us and other with respect in their eyes. We´re still mistrusted but I´m pretty sure they won´t attack us so fast. We decided to give them a show when Heda herself was within the crowd. The guards were worried or even scared that we would kill each other so they informed Heda on what´s going on and she made her way to the pits.

We decided to fight like it´s a real fight this time but without killing, before we started I got over to one guard and asked him to have a hot knife prepared for later. His eyes widened but nodded so I got back and we began to fight. When we stopped or breathing was slightly faster then normal, we all had a few hits and cuts. Ontari was lucky she hadn´t one that needed attention, Roan and I weren´t that lucky. He had a deep cut on both his arms while I had a deep one on my stomach and my right arm. 

Ontari marched over to the guards and took the hot knife, one of the guards just brought to the pits. She began with Roan and made sure he would know when the knife hits him. Roan didn´t even twitch with an eye brow, I could still hear the hisses of the crowd but I didn´t turn around to see their faces. I was up next and this time Roan took the knife, it´s not that I don´t trust Ontari it´s just I knew Roan longer and I´m not sure why but I only allowed him to treaty my wounds with a hot blade. He looked me in the eyes and pressed the knife against the cut on my stomach and then on the other cut. I didn´t twitched an eye brow or made any noises because I was used to it and was train to be quiet. The crowd hissed every time they could hear the burning flesh.

He finished fixing me up and we began to leave the pit. Many people were pale in their faces or had still a shocked look on their faces. I saw Lexa´s face and saw even on her face the shock but she also gave me a small smile. I smiled back, but not walking over knowing that I´ll see when I join her later. We continued walking and everyone jump out of our way, to make sure that they or we, I´m not sure on that one, won´t hurt the other one. We made our way in the tower and elevator, our guards were still behind us. They looked lightly paler as before and looked even kind of a bit scared. 

The elevator stopped at our floor and we got out, walking in my room to add some salve on the wounds. We ate dinner together and chatted about everything but Azgeda. It´s like we´re happier and more free, it´s really refreshing not to be tortured every day. I really hope that we all can live here now in peace, but I´m pretty sure Nia won´t accept it when two of her best assassins disappear and her son. 

After dinner they retreated to their own rooms and before I sneaked in to Lexa´s bedroom, I changed in to my sleep clothes. She still wasn´t there and no guards were keeping the room guarded, big mistake, I would let them guard it all day and all night. What if an assassin sneak´s in while nobody is guarding it, hides and kills her in her sleep, that would be horrible. I got in and the first thing I did is checking if someone was hiding in the room. Thanks to my training I knew were they would hide, I really have to talk to her about it.

To my surprise the room was clean, so I got in the bed tired from the training. I didn´t knew when Lexa would return so I tried to wait for her but failed. I feel asleep a second later, I was lulled in her scent so practically I didn´t even have a chance to not to fall asleep. I woke up when Nia put her hand on my face to hold me still smirking down at me, I panicked and hurried away from the touch, but when my vision cleared I could see Lexa with worry in her eyes.

I jumped in her arms sitting on her lap with face in her neck, she stroke my back to calm me down and it worked. “Shhhhhh, you´re okay, you´re in Polis and nobody is going to hurt you. Klark it´s just me!” she tried with words and got me to calm down much faster than I expected, but I still clung to her like a koala. I kissed her neck, so she knows she got me back and she pressed me tighter in her arms. “I didn´t know baby koalas still existed” you said amused and I blushed and laughed. “You´re insane if I´m a koala you´re an raccoon” I challenged with a playful smile, “How are you?” she asked, surprising me with the gentleness of the question and her touch under the wounds.

“I´m perfect, why wouldn´t I be?” I asked confused why she asked. “Sorry, I forgot you´ve gone through worse over the year and were trained to be okay. But that also leaves mental scars and I want to make sure you´re okay there too” she explained and I looked, with tears in my eyes, in hers. They´re so pure and gentle, I could get lost in them every time I look into them. I gave you a short kiss “I´m fine Lex, really but you should change the way guards should be guarding your room or you´ll have to sleep in your gear” I said threatening her before she nods and does as she´s told.

I lay on my left side and she got in behind me spooning me because I had this stupid wound on my stomach. We kissed one last time before she snuggled up to me and kissed my neck. I feel asleep, feeling as save as I never have before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,
> 
> thank you for the comments and kudos!  
> I finished a chapter again and it´s the longest I wrote on this story.
> 
> I slightly changed my way of writing, it´s still Clarke´s Pov, I just changed the way I write about Lexa, so every time I wrote you or your, Clarke is talking about Lexa. I´m pretty sure you´ll notice it.
> 
> I don´t own the 100.  
> All mistakes are mine.  
> English is not my native language.
> 
> Kudos and Comments are loved...ENJOY!

I woke up with you half on top of me, our legs were entangled and your face was in my neck. I could feel your slow and deep breathes hitting my neck and couldn´t find myself to care. I was warm and felt safe with you in my arms, I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep again.

I felt uncomfortable and lonely when I woke up again, I tried to reach for you but there was nothing but cold sheets. I took a deep breath and all I could smell was my scent. I was confused because I was asleep in your bed, with you on top of me. It was also strange because my heart felt weird, as if I would miss you already and disappointment that you weren´t here. I put my legs up to my chest and put my arms around them, I mean I know why you weren´t here but it didn´t sit well with me that I was in my own room instead of yours.

I close my eyes but remaining awake, I thought about the last couple of days and what would happen now. I felt bad for not telling Roan and Ontari about us but I also felt very protective about you and us in general. You were the first person I could trust immediately, I still don´t know why but I just could feel it. It´s like if you were a part of me and could see my soul and everything that made me like I am. I know you now for how long? Three days maybe and I still feel like you carried my heart and my soul.

It was scary so I pushed the feeling aside and got out of the bed. If anyone could´ve see me like this they would think I´m weak, but I´m not. I may be broken somehow but I´m not weak. I walked in my bathroom to take a bath, I didn´t wanna fetch a handmaiden because I could do things like that myself. I don´t like to accept help from other people, because I wanna feel independent. I got out and dried myself of, I put on my armor and this time all my weapons. I also added my bow because a good hunt would be the best start of a day, I wanted to clear my head so I didn´t tell Roan and Ontari or you.

My guard followed me and we got to the elevator, I informed the guard at the door about what I´m gonna do and walked out on the market place with my own guard behind me. When we reached the forest the guard began to walk besides me, I gave him a small smile and he looked surprised.

“I know you probably hate me, but I´m trying anyway I´m Clarke it´s nice to meet you” I told him and he chuckled “I don´t hate you” he began softly and I cut him off before he could continue. “Why not?” I asked him surprised by his answer “you wanna know my honest answer?” I nodded at that and he continued. “I don´t hate you because you came from Azgeda. I think there is a reason why you and the other two came to bow before Heda for protection. You went through some shit and I can´t even imagine what it felt like. I get the feeling you´re different as if you weren´t Azgeda and I don´t know I don´t think your bad or something” he finished and I could feel light tears in my eyes.

“Hell” is all I said, “sorry what?” he asked because he couldn´t follow my thought. “It felt like hell, as if you would lose your strength and will to life” I said honestly his brown eyes were so soft and gentle. I´m not sure why he´s a guard, I mean he´s build like one, he´s tall with many muscles. He had some tan and didn´t have hair. Many things gave someone the impression that he would be a warrior or even a guard. but when you looked into his eyes you could see gentleness. 

“But you´re still here, you survived the hell like you said and you should get strength out of it!” he said and I nodded at him “I´m Lincoln by the way and it´s nice to meet you too Clarke” he introduced himself and I smiled at him. It´s easy to talk to him while we continued walking, I stopped talking at one point because I saw my hunt for the day. I got my bow and got into position, sadly something roared and my price was not there anymore.

I groaned and looked too Lincoln who looked like he would fear something “Pauna” is all he said “what?” I asked him “Pauna is giant beast what can rip you apart like it´s nothing” he explained and all I did was nod. “Did it kill people?” I asked out of curiosity “yes many people” he said and I nodded. 

Before we could talk some more, we could hear something running our way fast. Lincoln run behind a tree to hide but I stood my ground, I put my bow on my back again and put the arrow away. I unsheathed my sword and rammed it in the ground while getting on one knee. I could see now a giant gorilla running my way, but I didn´t even think about moving away. I bowed my head and closed my eyes “are you crazy? Go and hide somewhere” Lincoln yelled but I ignored him. 

Pauna got closer and slowed down, until she stood before me. I stood up and petted her head leaning my forehead against her´s. I don´t know why, but I knew she´s a girl and something inside of me told me that she´s hurting for a long time. When I pulled away I could see many wounds on her body, probably hunters trying to kill her. I looked in her eyes and I don´t know, it´s like I could see through her. She suffered somehow, I tried to tell her that she doesn´t have to suffer anymore. I know it sounds crazy but I can´t explain it.

I pulled my sword out of the ground, I laid my forehead on her´s again and hummed a melody I knew from my childhood. I petted her head with one of my hands calming her down and slitting her throat with the other one, who held the sword. She let out a strangled noise and felt to the ground, looking finally peaceful “Yu gonplei ste odon” (Your fight is over) I said before cleaning my sword. 

I started to search for something to carry Pauna without ruining the meat. Lincoln still stood shocked behind that tree, not believing what he saw. I was building a stretcher to haul her back to Polis. When I finished building it, I hit Lincoln on the arm to get back. “What did just happened?” he asked me and I shrugged with my shoulders “I build something to get her to Polis, can you help me to get her on it?” I asked him hating that I needed to ask. He just accepted my answer and helped me lifting her up. She´s heavy but we managed to get her on it, I build it so we could tug her with us. 

We began walking but it´s really slow, my wounds hurt but I ignored them. When we almost reached the gates of Polis it´s dark and some more guards were sitting there on their horses. Ready to move out, when I got a closer look I could see you, Roan and Ontari at the front, all with a stoic face but deep down worrying. “Heda there is someone coming” a guard said and everyone looked in our direction, I could see you let out a breath of relieve as well as Roan and Ontari. They got of their horses and began walking towards us, we set her down and stood straight again.

“Lincoln what is the meaning of this?” you asked with a angry voice and before he could say anything I took a step forward “we´re hunting Heda and it got late, because we had to carry her. It´s not his fault he protected me the whole time” I said, lying kind of because he didn´t protect me when Pauna run our way. Lincoln gave me a thankful smile and I nodded at him. You watched us and sighed “alright I´m glad to hear that, what did you brought us?” you asked and I smiled and let Lincoln answer this one. “Pauna, we brought Pauna Heda” he said with a bow of his head and everyone gasp at us, “how did you kill Pauna?” some guard asked the shock written all over his face and something that looked like he was impressed.

“I don´t understand it myself but Clarke killed it without breaking a sweat” he replied honestly not trying to get some glory for himself. They all looked bewildered at me and I just shrugged, I could see in many faces respect for what I did. “We´ll celebrate the end of Pauna´s life, the feast will be in two days from now and everyone will get to taste a bit of Pauna” you said loud enough for everyone to hear. Some guards hauled her now to the tower and I walked next to you back as well. Roan and Ontari were slight behind me and Lincoln walked next to them. We reached the inside of the tower and I stopped to talk to Lincoln “you should go and sleep Linc, it´s an exhausting day for you and you should get some rest” I told him and he tried to protest “I can´t my orders are to follow and protect you” he said with a sad smile. “It´s okay you did well today, go and get some rest” you ordered him and he nodded. 

But before he walked away, he hugged me, to my surprise tightly “I won´t tell anyone about what I saw don´t worry” he said and I just scoffed at him playfully “nobody would believe you anyway” I replied and he chuckled. He let go of me and walked away, we got in the elevator and got to our floor. We all got out and I nodded for Roan and Ontari to get in my room, I knew they wanted to know how I did it, but I wanted to talk to you first. When the doors of my room closed, I turned to you and walked you to your room “are you okay?” you asked, I shortly nodded because we still were outside of your room and I didn´t wanna anybody to overhear us. “You will join me today for dinner, to tell me how you killed Pauna, you have a half candle mark” you ordered me and I nodded with a smile. 

You got in your room and I in mine. When I closed the door I was tackled to the ground by Roan and Tari hugging me. We laid like that on the ground for some minutes before someone broke the silence “you asshole, tell us when you go somewhere!” Tari snapped at me “what Tari tried to say is that we´re worried that Nia got you and that it would be nice of you to let us know when you´re going to hunt or whatever” Roan explained in a calmer voice. “I´m sorry guys, I just wanted to clear my head with hunting. I´ll tell you next time when I leave” I apologized “I love you guys” I added and they smiled at me “don´t get sappy on us now” Tari said chuckling.

“So how did you kill Pauna?” Roan asked curious to know how I did it “I petted her and stopped her suffering, I slit her throat and that´s it” I said “yeah right as if Pauna would just stand still and let you pet it” Ontari said disbelieving. “It is how I said it, believe it or not” I said not wanting to explain what happened. “I´m tired and would like to go to bed” I continued before anyone of them could say anything. They sighed but nodded respecting my wish “I´m just glad you´re safe and nothing happened to you, goodnight and sleep well” Roan said “yeah he´s right what would I´ve down without you, Goodnight Clarke” Ontari added. “I´m glad I´m well too” I teased “Goodnight you two!” I finished and they both hugged me before getting out of my room.

I took a deep breath and got in my bathroom to freshen up, changed into something comfy and put all my weapons away. I carefully opened my door to see if Roan or Tari were outside but gladly they weren´t, so I ran carefully and fast to your room, so no one would see me.

When I got in your room, you closed the door with me, you attached your lips on mine and kissed me with force. I kissed you back and even tried to deepen it, but before I could do that you pulled back. I was dazed by the intensity by your kiss and smiled happily. “Hi” I said, you glared at me and crossed your arms “what?” I asked not knowing why you were acting like that. “Why didn´t you tell me that you´re going on a hunt? I was worried sick for you after Roan and Ontari didn´t know either where you were” you confessed, I stared at you surprised by your statement “You were worried for me?” I asked “yes, I told you that I care about you and I meant it” you said and all I could do was engulf you with my arms. You returned the hug and placed your nose in my hair “I´m sorry Lex, I should´ve told you, I just wanted to clear my head a bit” I apologized with guilt in my voice “it´s okay just don´t do it again” you said before taking a deep breath.

You pulled away from the hug and kissed me softly, neither of us deepened it. We sat down and I just notice in that moment that food was on plates there. We ate in silence and nobody broke it. After we finished eating you gave the plates to a handmaiden outside, so she couldn´t see me. I got in to your bed, under the blanket waiting for you to join me, when you changed into something more comfortable you joined me in bed. I immediately snuggled up to you and sighed in relieve when I felt completely safe again.

“How did you kill Pauna?” you asked me and I sighed “you won´t believe me so it´s no use to talk about it” I said knowing that nobody but Lincoln would believe me. “Try me” you said and I gave in “I don´t know, when I knew it´s coming I put my bow on my back and pulled my sword out, I slammed it in the ground and got on one knee with my head bowed, much like when we bowed to you. She just slowed down and stood before me, I got up and petted her, we had a moment in peace when our foreheads laid on each others. When I looked her in the eyes I could see so much pain, she was suffering for a long time and I knew I had to help her. I petted her with one hand, hummed a melody and slit her throat giving her a fast dead. I told her, her fight is over and she slumped to the ground finally looking relaxed again. I had to help her” I said, my voice got lower while I talked because I knew it would be hard to believe.

“That´s impressing, did you knew you could do something like that?” you asked me surprising me again because instead of not believing me you choose to believe and trust me on this. “No I didn´t know, she´s magnificent it´s sad to see how much she was suffering” I replied honestly, I just killed her because she was in pain, “I understand why you did what you did, but I also have to thank you, because you freed my clan from a enemy” you said. “I´m not sure she was an enemy, she´s lonely and hurt, I mean she´s not worse than some of the people, she would never have torture me, she would´ve just killed me” I kind of defended her not feeling well, making her an enemy.

You tightened your hold on me “I get what you mean Klarke, I would´ve liked to meet the Pauna you met” you said teasingly and I chuckled “yeah she´s cute” I agreed. “I have something to talk to you about” I said, you nodded at me so I continued “how can you be so reckless?” I asked you and you just looked shocked at me. “What do you mean?” you asked confused “your chambers weren´t guarded yesterday, any assassin could´ve sneaked in and hide somewhere! That´s just reckless and stupid” I snapped at you because it´s obvious and so stupid. Imagine I wouldn´t have checked your room, I´m after all an Assassin and think like them and I care and worry for you too not that I would ever say that out loud. 

“It´s good to know that you worry and care for me too” you began, crap I thought loud , I blushed but hold my position “I don´t know why my chambers weren´t guarded, they´re normally guarded the whole day” you continued slight anger that no one was here. “So you´re not reckless and love to invite assassins in your chambers?” I asked making sure “no I´m not that reckless and I only invite one stunning assassin in my chambers” you replied smoothly and amused. I blushed and hided in your neck “don´t do that” I whined and you laughed at me, you kissed my temple “don´t worry I´ll yell at my guards why my quarters weren´t guarded” “good I don´t want anything happen to you” I said before I started kissing you. You replied to my kiss and we made out for a long time before we got sleep. (Only sleep!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what did you think?
> 
>  


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,
> 
> I´m back =)   
> First of all I´m sorry it took me so long, this story was never abandoned!  
> I just had a huge writers block for this story when season 5 ended, because I began and wrote it while I watched it.  
> But now season 6 is approaching and I got more ideas again: I hope it won´t take to long to update again but I´ll never abandoned this story.
> 
> I have to thank you for all the kudos you still left even while I didn´t update!
> 
> Anyway I´ve kept you waiting long enough.  
> Oh and didn´t proof read it yet because I was to excited that I managed to write something at all ^^
> 
> I don´t own the 100.  
> All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Kudos and Comments are loved...ENJOY!

We all were happy in Polis, Ontari began to train with the other Nightbloods and Roan was free of Nia´s control. My relationship with you changed after a month when we got intimate. We spent every night together, eating, talking, cuddling, kissing and sleeping. My feelings for you grew even more over the weeks, I was allowed to participate in meetings but was also allowed to help the healer.

 

Anya one of your generals had her problems first with us but after sometime she saw why Heda trusted us. She actually became kind of a friend of Roan, I was happy for him that he had someone besides me and Tari. I had you and Tari had Aden. The other nightbloods weren´t as open to Tari as Aden, but the three of us could see a gentle soul in him and a good Heda/ warrior for the future.

 

After half a year in our relationship we told Roan, Ontari and Anya about it we even told Lincoln. Roan, Tari and Anya weren´t really happy at the beginning but Roan and Tari could see how good you were for me and Anya just accepted Heda´s decision. A year in our relationship we secretly got married. As a sign of marriage we got a tattoo which held a meaning about the other. It sounds stupid but I got a raccoon tattoo and you got a lion. I always teased you about what the war paint looks like so I saw it fitting. You once explained to me that you choose the lion because first I´m blond, second because I´m fiercely and dangerous (to others if they are threatening towards me) and last but not least because you once read a book the lion king and read that they were the kings of all animals. It was sweet how much thought you laid into that tattoo and it was kind funny.

 

Anyway Tari, Roan and I always trained together and sometimes you would join us. Through all the time I spent with you my nightmares got less and as well my PTSD episodes. I sadly had in two years two throwbacks, where you had to start again to help me through night and day. Everyone new not to approach me through these time only you, Tari and Roan were allowed to get closed to me or to touch me and Lincoln and Anya were okay as well. We basically became a family who held their back, Gustus and Ryder your guards warmed up towards us and saw me like a daughter to protect from the bad when we once told everyone why we escaped Azgeda. Nyko a healer and friend of Lincoln befriended me when I worked in the medical room and began to think like Gustus and Ryder. Even the citizens accepted us if not even began to like us. After sometime they gave me the name prisa, which I knew meant princess.

 

I know it happened a lot in these two and a half years but it changed our lives. Roan and Ontari discovered romantic feelings for each other and became a couple. I was really happy for him and her, they both deserved some to love even tho it meant that our hangout sessions got a bit awkward sometimes. They were fast in their decision to make their relationship more official and got secretly married after half a year.

 

The thing that worried all of us was that Nia didn´t show any reaction yet about our escaping. But we soon learned that it wasn´t our biggest problem yet.

 

Through these two and a half years Roan and I became important advisers to you so when you had to make a trip to Ton DC or else were we would join you. The difficulty was that I couldn´t be without you but I also couldn´t be without the other two. Also the travel there was a big risk for us. The only solution for us was to wear clothes with long sleeves and hoods with our entire armor and weapons strapped to our body. Nobody ever saw our skin or our face on or travels and time where we were at the moment. The only place where we would let our cover fall was Ton DC, Indra the leader of the city respected us and the people were nice to us. Everyone knew that when we where there that the pits were basically off limits for them, because we train a lot there.

 

........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

At the moment you and I laid in our bed after I struggled with some bad nightmares, we didn´t know what triggered it but I had them the last few days. Because of them I didn´t have much sleep and was frustrated that I was such a bother to you even tho you told me otherwise.

 

We both fell asleep again when you calmed me down enough. The next time I woke I was alone in bed and heard whispers from behind the door.

 

**_Lexa: “Her nightmares are getting worse and I´m not sure how to deal with this new information. I really want to tell her but would it be wise?”_ **

 

**_Roan: “I´m not sure, I know how much she suffered in the past and I´m not sure if she can cope with it after everything.”_ **

 

**_Ontari: “Guys are you seriously thinking about not to tell her! She has a right to know, I know the situation is not ideal but we can´t keep this from her. She´ll hate us and lose her trust in us. What do you think is going to happen when she would find out that we held that information back? She would push us all away probably train until she can´t stand anymore, she wouldn´t sleep because you wouldn´t be there, she would avoid you. It´s not even up for a discussion, Lexa I know you´re Heda but we really need to tell her and that soon”_ **

 

**_Lexa: “you´re right how could we even think about it, how could I think about it. We are going to tell her together?”_ **

 

I heard them say and got out of bed slightly pissed that you and Roan thought about not telling about what happened. I walked to the door and teared it open “Tell me what?” I asked pissed and you and Roan looked guilty while Tari arched a bow at the other two. “Love can we get into the quarters to tell you?” you tried and I almost snapped at you but I could see the look in you eyes so I stormed into the room. The three of you got in after me and you walked towards me. Carefully placing you hands on my arms, when you noticed that I didn´t pull back, so you encircled my waist with your arms and laid your head in my neck. I tried my best to hold my glare but it´s you being cute and soft (which is only for me) so I gave in and fell in your arms with my arms around you and my nose in your hair.

 

I could hear Ontari saying 'so whipped _'_ so I growled at her but you kissed my neck stopping the growl. I felt myself relax so I pulled out of the embrace and looked with sad eyes to you “What happened that you even think to hide it from me?” I asked you slightly hurt. “I don´t know an easy way to tell you and I want you to heal properly and I´m not sure if this helps you with or if it throws you back again” you told me with an apologetic expression before looking to Roan and Tari. “Anya just came back from TonDC and told me that another metal box fell out of the sky this time larger with a hundred _yongun´s”_ you continued. When I registered what you said my eyes widened “what?” I asked shocked. This time Roan spoke up “Prisa some of your people came down”, I couldn´t believe what he was saying and barely registered what was happening around me. Everything was blurry until I felt arms around me, holding me upright. I first fought against the arms until my nose was pressed into the neck of the person. Where I could smell my person, I took a deep breath and stopped struggling I close my eyes and breath you in and out.

 

“Are you okay ai hodnes?” you asked softly and I could feel tears running down my cheeks. “I´m sorry for being always weak” I told you instead of answering your question. “Look at me please” you said softly but I shook my head but you were having none of it and gently lifted my head out of your neck. Caressing my cheeks with your thumps “never think that you´re weak for having feelings Klark! You´re the strongest person I´ve met, you inspire me and everyone around you. You convinced me that love is not a weakness but that love is strength!” you told me and I believed you.

 

“W-what are we going to do about Skaikru?” I asked still struggling to take the news. “Nothing yet, little one we wanted you to decided about your people” Roan said softly. My face hardened “these are not my people you and everyone in Polis are my people, they maybe have lived where I came from but they´re nothing to me, nothing more than a bad memory” I stated and you all looked shock at my statement but nodded in understanding knowing what happened back then.

You were rubbing my back soothingly while we discussed what would happen with these intruders. We decided to let Anya and Indra telling them a ultimatum, to either leave Heda´s land or to earn them an alliance. They need to show them that they´re not a threat and willingly to learn from our people. If someone does something against the rules they´ll be punished by Trikru.

 

**“Rule number one: Always listen when Indra or Anya talk”**

**“Rule number two: Be always respectful towards Trikru”**

**“Rule number three: follow every instructions and never argue about them”**

**“Rule number four: don´t question the person who gives you instructions”**

**“Rule number five: never hurt a Trikru member”**

**“Rule number six: don´t hurt or kill someone of your own clan”**

**Most important rules!**

**“Rule number seven: If Heda and advisers are in Ton DC don´t approach them if they not specifically talked to you!”**

**“Rule number eight: never touch one of them for your own safety!”**

**“Rule number nine: If you see one of them walking your way you clear the path because they are much more important than you and will see it as a challenge you wouldn´t win!”**

**“Rule number ten: Don´t speak up if someone else with a higher position as you (basically everyone) is speaking!”**

**“Rule number eleven: the training pits are off limits when Heda and her advisers are here!”**

 

 

We´ll send Anya a head with that list and if they see it as necessary we will travel there.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,
> 
> here is the next chapter.  
> I didn´t proof read it yet but I´ll do it sometime later. I just wanted to give you something to survive your monday ;)
> 
> I don´t own the 100.  
> All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Kudos and Comments are loved...ENJOY

In the last few days you were softer around me and more carefully, it was kinda nice but I was also kinda annoyed because I didn´t needed to be treated like something breakable. 

On the third night I asked you about it “Hey Lex?” you looked at me lovely “yeah”, “why were you so different around me the last few days?” I continued. Your eyes slightly widened and you gaped at me “please tell me the truth” I pleaded and your face softened. You walked towards me and briefly kissed me while placing your hands on my hips. “I´m not sure. I think I wasn´t sure how you took the news and wanted to make sure you´re perfectly fine” you replied with love in your eyes and I melted closing the space between us to fall in your arms completely. I closed my eyes when my nose was on the base of your neck, inhaling your soothing scent. You tightened your arms around me and kissed the side of my head.

I lifted my head so I could look you in the eyes again. I almost lost myself in your eyes, but I remembered why I started this conversation “Love, I appreciate your efforts but please stop think that I´ll break if you aren´t softer with me. I´m happy and content as long as you are by my side, your love gives me the strength I need” I told you. You placed your hands on my cheeks and caressed them, you looked me deep in the eyes “okay and I love you more than anything” you told me and just like that everything was okay “I love you too” I answered before you kissed me. The kiss was slow and full of love, at the end we both let us fall into the bed and after a few hours we began to sleep peacefully in each others arms.

 

 

Five days after Anya returned to TonDC you got a letter where she told us that we were needed there. You told me as soon as you read it and we discussed how we would handle it. 

That´s Why we were two days later at the gates of Polis. Ontari, Roan and I were fully clothed again so you couldn´t see any of our skin, we also had all our weapons strapped to our body. Gustus and Ryder were with their horses at the front, after that you and I were with our horses, Lincoln on my otherside and at the end were Tari and Roan next to each other. Around us were twelve other guards to protect us, we had send someone ahead to inform Indra and Anya that we were coming. 

When we started our journey as was nervous because I would soon see the people how were ready to let me die alone. I could also feel anger bubble up in me but your presence next to me was enough to lessen it. The ride to TonDC took us two days were we barley stopped. When we could see the gates it was still daylight there, some guards saw us and opened the gates. 

We stopped when we were inside and could see the intruders watching us. Part of the plan was to give them protection while they´re earning an alliance. We all got of our horses and walked in the main house where we knew we would find Anya and Indra. They greeted us with a warm embrace and told us after about what happened the last few days. The told us about how some asked about a girl that fell from the sky a few years ago but they were given no information about it. Also we were told that most of them are grateful that we are giving them a chance and for the help we provided so far, Indra also informed us that only one or two of them seem like trouble. Anya added that they were all informed about the rules and that they hadn´t a problem yet.

Roan, Tari and I were tense because of the ride and the intruders called delinquents. You saw us struggling and kissed my forehead before you told us that we were free to train. So Ryder, Lincoln, Tari and her guard, Roan an his guard an I walked to our hoods to change in to training clothes.

Tari and I were only wearing chest bindings and leggings with some of our weapons strapped to our body, while Roan was wearing training pants and a T-Shirt which the same amount of weapons on his body. We were walking o the training pits were our guards stood at the side ready to protect us.

We walked in the middle and decided to train like the all the times, first we would warm up with 2 against 1 until it we had loosened up enough. When we finished with it we began to fight each other like it was a real fight just without killing the other. What we hadn´t noticed while we fought was the crowd that stood now around the pit to watch us fighting even you, Indra and Anya came to watch us. It was dark when we finished our set and check the wounds we left, fortunately nobody had bad wounds that needed more attention. Lincoln came with a hot knife and we closed each others wound, Roan mine and I closed their wounds.

We could hear the crowd hiss when the knife hit the skin. You and the other two came towards us “are you finished?” you asked and we nodded with sheepish smiles. We began walking out of the pits, you next to me with our guards on either side, Ontari and Roan behind us with their guards and last Indra and Anya. 

We walked over the market place when someone run into me. He hit me not hard enough to make me stumble but I still saw it as attack and reacted fast. I grabbed his throat and squeezed before I slammed him in the ground. The crowd that was before around the pits in now around them again. I didn´t loosen my grip until I could I see his go red, that´s when you laid your hand on my shoulder and physically relaxed and stood up again. Guards immediately grabbed him while he took deep breathes to fill his lunges again with air. You walked a step forward so he could see your face clearly, his eyes where still wide when you began talking “Do you know who I am?” you asked him and he shook his head “do you know who she is?” you added and he shook again his head that he didn´t know who we were. “I am Heda of the twelve clans and this is my most important adviser and she has the second highest rang after me in this world” she explained and his eyes widened even more “This attack and show of disrespect will cost you your life” you said with a dangerous voice.

The guards dragged him towards the trunk and made sure he couldn´t escape. Before we started you turned towards the crowd “You all should learn from him, because we are very protective of each other and and attack against her is like an attack against me and punishable by a death trough thousand cuts” Some of the delinquents looked like the wanted to argue but knew better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I´m not sure if that was a cliffhanger.  
> Anyway what do you think?

**Author's Note:**

> opinions?


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